Monday 27 April 2015

FELA DUROTOYE: HOW TO BECOME THE WOMAN OF HIS DREAMS!






I want to say a huge “Thank you and God bless you” to everyone who made our Anniversary and my Birthday a special one.

Thanks for all the messages, email, sms and phone calls and prayers. May God bless you in ways you’ve never imagined and as I always say, may my greatest achievement be your least! I’m sure you know that I mean those words.

I was astounded to receive all the comments from readers of my “LOVE LETTER TO TARA”! At my last count, I had a total of 238 comments. That’s totally unprecedented for me!

I also had a lot of messages from the ladies who seemed awed by the fact that “a Nigerian man” had a romantic gene! The guys were shocked by my “lyrics” to Tara, (guys feel free to use any of those lines, lol!)

Quite a number of the ladies wanted to know how to find the right man for them as well, so this note is especially dedicated to every woman believing God for the right man.

Don’t worry guys, I’ll have one for you.

Ladies, why do you want to get married?

Is it because you’ve fantasized about the wedding day, or is it because your friends are getting married, or could it be pressure from family and friends who constantly remind you of the ticking of your biological clock? I assure you that those are all the wrong reasons to get married.
To many women fantasize about the WEDDING DAY, and don't prepare for the MARRIAGE.
The truth is, the marriage begins when the wedding ends.

So why then should you get married?

Forget the fairy tales, marriage is a covenant of two imperfect people coming together, committing their lives together forever, to create a union under God.

So what are the steps to getting the man of your dreams?

Step 1: Be the right woman:

What kind of wife would your dream husband be looking for?
Single ladies; please remember that as a woman thinks in her heart, so she “is”; not will be. Simply put, your thoughts, values, habits and words can tell any man, the kind of wife that you “are”, even though you are not married yet.

Step 2: Become a wife, while you’re waiting for a husband

Ladies, please recognize that “guys DATE chics and then go on to MARRY wives”. If the truth be told, there are too many Christian chics and too few Christian wives (or “wife material”) in Church today. Ask yourself, “am I a chic or a wife?” Who must I BE to attract who I WANT. Sweetheart, the man of your dreams isn’t hanging around in a bar or at a club, so what are you doing there?

Step 3: Who must be to attract who I want?

Write down the list of qualities that you want your husband to have. Now look at that list carefully. What have you written? God fearing, Intelligent, Good Communicator, Gainfully employed, Clean, Fun, has a car, apartment, has money etc.

Now, ask yourself, does your list consist more of “what he has” or “who he is”? If it’s driven by what he has, then, you may be driven by the external props and anybody can fake that. “Sharp” guys can borrow their friends’ cars, apartment, money etc, but the intangibles of “who he is” cannot be faked. Character, truth, integrity, passion can’t be faked.

If you want a God fearing man, are you God fearing? If you want an intelligent man, can you hold up your end of a conversation? You want a man who's gainfully employed, do you have a job?

When I began dating Tara, I was quick to inform her that I wasn’t looking for a girlfriend, but a wife. She thought that was the most unromantic thing I’d ever said, but she appreciated the fact that I was honest with her from the get go. Ladies, marry a man for “who he is”…even if the world hasn’t seen it yet; rather than for “what he has”, because what he has can be taken away from him, but who he is will be all that’s left.

When Tara and I began dating, I was living in a small “one room, room” where I had to share a communal toilet and bathroom with several families (one of my cooks used to be my neighbor). All my property (TV, electronics fridge, and other appliances) had been sown by instruction to build a campus ministry in OAU, Ife, called Eden. All I had left was a cane dustbin, a mattress and a carpet with a hole in the middle (which the bed thankfully covered).

But there was much more to me than what I didn’t seem to have. I was always talking about my vision, what our life would be, where I was taking her to and I was also TAKING ACTION STEPS to get us there. Ladies, beware of the man who only talks the talk, but doesn’t WALK THE WALK! He must have corresponding action with his words.

Sometime ago, about 3 years ago, Tara and I were invited to a TV interview, and the host asked me what was imperative for women to look for in a man. I remember saying. “Don’t marry a man for his “television”, marry a man who has vision and one day; his vision will put you on television”!

Watch out for the concluding part
(This is culled from Fela Durotoye’s Facebook Wall….emphasis mine)

Recommended Downloads:
4.     Lady In Waiting: Becoming God’s Best While Waiting For Mr. Right,by Jackie Kendall & Debby Jones
15.  Understanding The Purpose and Power of Men,by Myles Munroe
18.  Understanding The Purpose and Power of Women,by Myles Munroe
19.  Waiting And Dating: A Sensible Guide To Fulfulling Love Relationships,by Myles Munroe


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